“But Mom, she didn’t eat all of her food.” “Mom, her toy is bigger than mine.” “Why does she get to do that, but I can’t?” “But she is not cleaning up.” 

Have any of the other parents out there heard these questions or phrases, or is it just me? I see you nodding your head over there in agreement, so I’m going to go with the thought that my girls are not the only children who utter these words, to which my response is usually, “Mom needs you to take a moment to focus on you.” “I know that you want to look at what your sister has done, is doing, or has not done, but right now, I am talking directly to you.” 

Family, stay with me on this one. As I have spoken these words to my daughters, Holy Spirit reminded me that God says the same thing to you and me when we find ourselves focusing on what our brothers and sisters possess that appears brighter and shinier than what we have. I was reminded of times when we focus on our neighbor’s sins and shortcomings that we view somehow makes them unworthy or more deserving of our heavenly Father’s correction while ignoring our own flaws and the fact that we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). 

 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5, NIV).

This not so gentle reminder is one of those messages that has me saying, “Ouch!” What about you? There is hope, though, my brothers and sisters! God loves us enough to correct us because He wants us to be all He created us to be. It is kind of hard for our Father to mold us and prune us without any discomfort, Amen. It is even more difficult for us to improve and grow when we are too busy focusing on those around us and not staring ourselves straight in the mirror. “So, what is next,” I hear you asking? “What should I do with this firm nudge?”

1 John 1:9 is a great starting place. It says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (NIV). Confession of our own sins to our heavenly Father keeps us humble. Confession shifts our focus from outward to inward. Confession reminds us that we do not get it right all the time. Confession also brings healing and cleansing to our hearts, minds, and souls.  

Another lesson to glean from this is the importance of our own obedience. God wants our “yes.” God wants us to follow the instructions that He specifically shared with us. He is not concerned with what He told someone else to do when He is speaking directly to us. What has God called you to do that you have been avoiding? What areas in your life have God been asking you to clean up, but you fail to obey? Our focus is not our brother, not our sister, not our neighbor, or our friend. We must focus on ourselves.

Reflect & Relate

In what ways have you been focusing on others rather than on yourself?

What can you do today to shift your outward focus inward?

What area is God calling you to obey in that you have been avoiding, and how will you proceed in obedience?

Let Us Pray

Father God, thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for extending grace and mercy towards me over and over again. Please forgive me for focusing on my brothers and sisters and not looking in the mirror at myself. Please forgive me for disobeying the instructions that you have given me while pointing the finger at others. Today I want to focus on myself. I choose to confess my sins so that you can forgive my sins and cleanse me from all my unrighteousness. I choose to obey your word and your instructions for my life because I want to be all you have called and created me to be. In the name of Jesus, Amen!

If you haven’t already, I invite you to check out my new book, “A Glimpse of Our Father: Lessons Parenthood Reveals for All of God’s Children,” for more inspiration and encouragement.

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