We had been praying for her complete healing.

We were standing on God’s word.

We had put all hope in Him.

Yet, God, in His sovereignty did not answer our prayers in the way we expected.

We wanted to see her heart miraculously healed on this side of Heaven. But on June 9, 2008, after 10 years of suffering with congestive heart failure, my mother passed away, at the age of 49.

For a long time after her passing, I struggled to understand how God, the loving Father I had learned about from my youth, would allow my mother to die when she did. It just didn’t make sense.  She was young and had been serving Him faithfully, giving her life to ministry and loving her husband and children as He required. There were plans and celebrations looming on the horizon, along with hopes and dreams for years to come. So many people had been petitioning Heaven on her behalf, asking and pleading with God for her healing. It seemed like the perfect opportunity for Him to work a miracle so that many would come to know Him.

But on that warm, summer evening in 2008, our hope turned to sorrow as He decided to heal my mother by taking her to her eternal home.

My life suddenly became a life I never expected – a life as a new adult (age 23), navigating the world without the presence, encouragement, wisdom, support, and love of my mother. A life in which I’d marry and not share the excitement of wedding planning or the realities of marriage with her. A life in which I’d carry and birth four children who would never know or experience her tender affection in this world. A life in which I would never be able to share the joys and struggles of womanhood or hear the untold, personal tidbits of her own experiences.

It’s an ache that will forever remain in my heart.

But God has been faithful.

Even with her absence and all of the sadness it brings, I can look over the past fourteen years and see a glimpse of our Father’s comfort woven throughout my times of sorrow. As His child, I have specifically experienced His comfort in the following ways:

1. He comforts me when I’m honest.

“Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah” (Psalm 62:8, ESV)

I have learned that it is okay for me not to be okay, and that God gives me permission to be honest with Him – to pour out my raw, unfiltered emotions and to lay them at His feet. When I bring my real, honest feelings before Him, I experience the safety of His shelter and the comfort of His love. It’s a safe space where I have freedom to express all of my emotions – sadness, disappointment, frustration, hurt, anger – without being judged. He always meets me there, and I have found comfort in Him being my refuge in my most vulnerable moments.

2. He comforts me when I grieve.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4, ESV)

Grief has not been a one-and-done task for me. I have learned that there will be new levels of grief in every stage and season of my life. There will forever be triggers that resurface emotions related to my mother’s passing. But I am encouraged by the words of Matthew 5:4 because here, Jesus gives me permission to grieve. And He promises that when I grieve, I will be comforted. He promises that He, Himself, will console and refresh me and bring me to a state where I am able to move forward and live with joy despite my loss. He’s been faithful to comfort me in this way. 

3. He comforts me when I hope in Him.
“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, ESV)

Although I am deeply saddened by my mom’s untimely passing, I grieve with hope. Having hope does not mean that I do not hurt or cry from time to time. Instead, it means that I grieve with the belief that even though God allowed my mom to die when she did, He is STILL good, and He is STILL a loving Father. And because of Jesus and His death on the cross and resurrection from the dead, I will see her again. So, in my sadness, I look to Him, and I trust that one day, my mother and I will worship around His throne together. With that hope, I find the ability to keep going.

It took me a while to see, but the God I knew of before my mother died, is indeed a loving Father who deeply cares for His children. What I did not understand at the time is that His love does not always shield us from pain and sorrow (John 16:33). However, amid suffering, God doesn’t leave us to grieve alone. Our Father is always with us. Psalm 34:18 says He’s close to the brokenhearted. Psalm 46:1 says He’s a very present help in the time of trouble. Isaiah 43:2 says He’ll be with us as we go through the waters, rivers, and fire.

Dear child of God, we can find comfort in the assurance of His presence, even on days when we fail to feel Him because He promised to never leave us or forsake us. Hold on to His great and precious promises and embrace the comfort He longs to give in your sorrowful circumstance.

Reflect & Relate

1. What raw emotions you have experienced in your time of sorrow?
2. How can you create space this week to pour out those emotions to God so that He can comfort you in your sorrow?

Let Us Pray

Dear Heavenly Father, my heart is heavy. I know what your word says and that you love me, but it’s hard to feel your love right now. Help me to experience your comfort in the midst of my sorrow. Help me to know your love despite my pain. Help me to trust your sovereignty and that your grace is enough to carry me through this difficult season. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

About Our Guest Blogger

Melanie Norris is a Christian blogger who encourages women in difficult and challenging seasons of life with the hope of God’s keeping power. She also co-leads a Facebook group, called She’s A Seeker, that is designed to help women develop, enhance, or refresh their personal relationship with the Lord. Melanie is married to her high school sweetheart and is mom to four amazing children. She enjoys writing, spending quality time with her family, curling up on the couch with a good book or word search puzzle, watching drama tv, and shopping for journals and pens! Connect with Melanie on her blog, He’s A Keeper, by clicking here and on Facebook by clicking here.