Raise your hand if you like to be told “no.” I am waiting… I did not see one hand go up. Not even mine! When most of us ask for something that we want, “no” is not the answer we are seeking. We want to hear that exciting three-letter word “yes,” right?! I am with you on this one family, “no” is hard to hear sometimes, and hard can be an understatement. Being told “no” can be discouraging, disappointing, and downright devastating. Nevertheless, I am learning to say “thank you” for that power-packed two-letter word.

As Mother’s Day approaches, I want to thank my mother for saying “no.” Let me take you all back to fourth grade for a minute. I remember asking my mother for permission to spend the night at one of my friend’s houses. Now, I knew the house rule of if my parents had not ever met my friend’s parents, I could not spend the night, but for some reason, I got the courage to ask my mother anyway. I suggested that even though they had never met, perhaps they could talk on the phone, which would be sufficient. In my 9-year-old mind, that sounded like a fair request, right? Um, no ma’am and no sir! That did not work for my mother. Her response was “no.” I did not understand why then, but in my adult years and as I now have children of my own, and in my profession, as I have heard so many stories of incidents that have happened in the lives of others, I realize the dangers of sleeping over at people’s homes that I am sure many of you can fill in the blank exist. 

Another example that I can fast forward to was when I was around 13 years old. You already know teenagers can develop some “bright” ideas of activities in which they would like to participate. I vividly remember being invited to my “friend’s” (he was one of my crushes) house party. Once again, my mother did not know his parents (and she did not know that he was my little love interest). Despite my sharing that the party was co-ed, I got a hearty “NO” from my mother. I cried and begged, begged and cried, but do you think that changed Momma’s answer? That would be a negative. My tears did not move Mrs. C AT ALL! Sadly, later in life, that young man ended up getting into some serious trouble and ultimately passed away as a result of his legal issues at an incredibly young age.  

I have to say to my mother, “Thank you for saying “no.” You were wiser than me. You had experienced more life than me. You wanted what was best for me, and you were only trying to protect me from dangers seen and unseen. Your “no” allowed me to be able to say “yes” to some positive choices and decisions in life. Your “no” shielded me from being exposed to things that my 9-year-old and 13-year-old self did not need to see. I thank you for every single “no” that you graced me with time after time.

I cannot help but catch a glimpse of our Father through all of this. Just as I am grateful for my mother’s “no’s,” I am thankful for my heavenly Father’s “no’s.” Whether it was that job, relationship, or even financial decision that He said “no” to, I am thankful. As I look back over my life, many of the instances when the answer was “no,” God blessed me to see the reason for that “no.” But, do you know what that reason was in each circumstance?  GOD HAD SOMETHING BETTER! He was trying to protect me. Our Father saw the big picture! After all, He is all-wise and knows ALL things.

I pray that you are visualizing this, my sister and my brother. That “no” is one of those 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” moments. I am reminded that just as my mother’s no came out of a place of love for me as her child, our heavenly Father’s “no” is beautifully wrapped in His amazing love for us. His “no” is not for our harm, but His “no” is for our good, and I am thankful. So once again, I must say, “Thank you, Momma, and thank you, heavenly Father, for saying ‘no.'”

Reflect & Relate

Whether your mother is living or she is resting with our heavenly Father, I encourage you to write her a “thank you” letter for the “no’s” that you can now look back on and see that they were for your good. Then, as you prepare to celebrate Mother’s Day, I encourage you to share it with your mother if possible.

Let Us Pray

Dear heavenly Father, I want to thank you for saying “no” in my life. I realize that every time you say “no,” you are doing it for my safety, sanity, and well-being. Thank you for your incredible love for me. Thank you for your protection and your provision. I realize that you are wise and see the big picture when I cannot. Please help me continue to trust you and give thanks even when it is difficult to hear “no.” You are indeed a good Father, and for that, I give you all the glory, honor, and praise. In the name of Jesus, Amen!

With Mother’s Day right around the corner, why not consider gifting “A Glimpse of Our Father: Lessons Parenthood Reveals for All of God’s Children” to be a blessing in the life of a mother?!

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